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Top 10 Things You Can Do to Make America More Secure

Totalitarian Information Awareness Program
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Homeland Security



(San Francisco)-- Public Relations volunteers from the newly formed Department of Homeland Security (DHS) will reach out to and monitor the scheduled "anti-war" march in San Francisco on Saturday January 18th. The DHS volunteers will set up checkpoints along the march route to videotape participants, display a lifelike Mobile Detention Facility (MDC), and help safeguard Chevron-Texaco, Citibank and other corporate offices along the Market Street route. The MDC displays will feature "spoken word" poets who will attempt to incite detainees and members of the public.

"Our volunteers will be out in force to clear up public misconceptions about Homeland Security. We want people to get used to the sacrifices we are requiring of them and for families to test out our neat new Mobile Detention Facilities," said Admiral Poindexter of the Totalitarian Information Awareness Office.  

There will be a mandatory training session for DHS volunteers.

ALERT! - Jan. 28 -  A so called "journalist" was caught making unpermitted recordings of the DHS Detention Facility.  Fortunately, DHS agents were able to seize the footage and provide it here as an example of why it is crucial that all loyal citizens receive their news only from official DHS authorized sources.

DHS agent interacting with public


Saturday, January 11  - DHS Public Relations Team members successfully infiltrated mass transit, public spaces, and bookstores throughout the bay area,  explaining to members of the public in a clear and friendly manner the work of the newly created DHS in in protecting democracy, freedom, quality of life, cooperate financial security  and short-term vision. Members of the public were called upon to prepare themselves to proudly sacrifice certain remaining shreds of democracy, freedom, quality of life, peace and vision of a better world in order to protect these very same values,  and to support the War for Peace. Several individuals who questioned the possible effectiveness of DHS or used big words like "Orwellian", were momentarily detained, photographed, and allowed to divulge contact information for future questioning. 

A short video clip demonstrating a few hilites of the Jan. 11 DHS training session is available here.  


Saturday January 18, 10am (sharp)
Art & Revolution, Redstone Building, 1st floor
16th St. @ Capp St (N.E. corner- 1 block from 16th St BART), San Francisco

The training will prepare volunteers to document people exercising their civil liberties,  to set up the life-like Mobile Detention Center (MDC), and to participate in the Homeland Security marching drill team. DHS volunteers are asked to dress professionally (see dress code)  with black/dark slacks or pants and shoes and white or light colored dress shirts. Volunteers are asked to leave backpacks at home, tie back long or unusual hair and remove excessive piercings. For volunteers who wish to participate as detainees in the Mobil Detention Facility there is no dress code, just gags and possible

NOTE: The DHS is looking for people who can make copies of the DHS outreach
flyer (5 Things You Can Do to Make America More Secure) and we are looking
for light 4 to 6 foot ladders for video surveilance (please let us know if
you can bring them). If you can make copies please download the flyer from
our website, make copies and bring them on the 18th.


Feb 20-21  Lafayette Park Hotel & Spa

Lafayette, CA (30 min from San Francisco)

The Technology & Homeland Security Summit is an invitation-only event that brings together 30 to 45 top-level executives and officials from five sectors of the homeland security arena: government, industry consultants, venture capitalists/investors, established technology companies and the most promising emerging technology companies.

During the 2 day invitational summit, participants will exchange ideas, learn about the latest trends, and make important connections at the highest levels of the $130+ billion homeland security world. Anyone interested in being a key player in the future of the homeland security industry should want to attend this summit — but no more than 45 can be accepted.  Summit applicants will be carefully screened to assure that only top-level executives and officials attend, providing the highest quality of interaction and networking.

HSD quote image

"... History has called our empire into action. History has placed a great challenge before us: Will America -- with our unique position and power -- blink in the face of history, or will we lead to a freer, more civilized world? There's only one answer: This great empire will lead the world to safety, security, peace and freedom. May God bless America."

                       -President George w. Bush

"Terrorism must be decontextualized"

                          -Richard Perle?


The Homeland Security Advisory System is a means to dissimulate information regarding the risk of terrorist acts by federal, state, and local authorities against the American people.

Oblivious = Green

Prozak-ed = Blue

Elevated = Yellow

Paranoid = Orange

Terrified = Red

threat level

legally of course, this site is a spoof.  Any similarity to the official rehtoric and fearmongering imagery of the Department of Defense and White House sites is purely a matter of tragic coincidence